She writes: "On Wed 7/9 Sarah Low visited Grove with me to give us a progress report.I'm happy to say that her impressions were generally favorable. She  thinks the leaf damage we are seeing is part of the adjustment process  and therefore to be expected, especially in trees undergoing bare-root  planting.  She felt that these trees had probably had a stressful  winter even before we planted them, and their roots need time to get  established.  Their prognosis is still good, although it takes about 5  years to be sure of their long-term survival.  So far she thinks  they've been adequately watered, and our plan of 5 gallons a week per  tree should be fine.  If we get into drought conditions later in the  summer, maybe 10 - 15 gallons (the recommended amount for street  trees) would be better.  She was impressed that we've done a good job  of fighting back the knotweed. There are a few other invasives at the  site that we may need to control : English Ivy, Mile-a Minute Vine,  Garlic Mustard - but these haven't made a major impact yet.  The other  plants growing there are mostly natives - PA Smartweed, Jewelweed,  Skunk Cabbage, Jack-in-the-Pulpit - and they should coexist happily  with the new trees and shrubs.Fortunately we don't seem to have a deer problem.  She thinks the  winterberry and dogwood bushes would be showing signs of deer browse  by now if that were going to happen, and they appear to be doing  well.  The rubbing against the bark that deer do usually happens in  November, and the bark protectors now in place should prevent that.Sarah thinks we are in good shape to proceed with the planting of more  trees and shrubs at the Grove site in the fall, as well as in some  other locations in the woods with canopy openings. She will be in  touch with us through Friends of CW to identify more sites and make  recommendations about plantings.It was very helpful to visit Grove with Sarah, and reassuring to have  her input.  I look forward to seeing everyone in the woods soon."Erica Brendel

This week I moved back to Massachusetts after 12 years in Philadelphia. My cell phone doesn't work and the only internet is at the public library so I am a little disconnected but I am occasionally reachable by email at treemaker9@yahoo.com and occasionally by cell at 267-688-3694. On one level the change seems to be helping already. Philly looms lovely in the rearview mirror and I can suddenly and clearly see and appreciate everyone who helped Bill and I this last terrible and difficult year. Everyone has been very kind. But my friends Katerina, Ralph, and Flash are deserving of awards for their help in emptying 6812 McCallum this spring. From March to July we tossed, schlepped, donated, boxed, and distributed glasses, clothes, books, medical equipment, records, and furniture. We gave everything away except for the two opened cans of pet food, a bag of compost, and a small metal trash can that we lost track of in the middle of the final morning. Inscrutable gifts for the new owners to decode...I miss my garden, the oaks, my friend and neighbors, canine and human, but I don't miss the endless cleaning while the house was on the market. I think my energy and focus are starting to return. Today I followed a monarch butterfly around and wondered where my camera was packed. I look forward to working again.

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." C.S. Lewis

I was unprepared for grief's angry force and desperate apathy. Everything has changed and I don't know who or where I am. I can't hide my feelings so all I can do is hide myself. GROVE has continued but not as I had thought. For the last six months I can barely bring myself to do anything. So, I apologize to anyone for my absence, my bitterness, my sadness, and my lack of updates to the site.

I do go to GROVE and work in GROVE. I water, I weed, and I monitor its progress. But organizing is difficult in this state of loss and I feel I have lost my courage. There is so much sadness here for me that I feel I must leave in order to breathe again. I am moving to a studio near the ocean in New Bedford, Massachusetts. I am sorry to leave everyone but I hope you will understand. I don't know when I will get there but my new address will be The Ropeworks Building, 123 Sawyer St., New Bedford, MA.

GROVE will not be neglected. The Friends of Carpenter's Woods have raised funds through Linda G.'s owl photo sale and through Louise H.'s grant from the Coop. We have received free winterberry and red-osier dogwood from Dave Bower. A recent visit by a tree expert has further informed us and inspired additional plantings for the fall. Erica B., the original and most vocal supporter of GROVE has stepped up her efforts in pulling knotweed and monitoring tree health. We have also been offered additional funds for a sign and more trees through Glen B. of the Weaver's Way Coop. And I thank the many people who walk by and check in, pulling a little knotweed as they visit. GROVE is well cared for and will continue to be well cared for by our community in Carpenter's Woods.

The Friend's of the Wissahickon's Summer Newsletter is focusing on Carpenter's Woods. Don't miss it!

GROVE is something and nothing all at the same time. When you enter the small clearing off the trail with ten or so small mounds of dirt and paper, you might not see much happening. It is only when you look closely that you can see the changes. The paper swells and freezes repeatedly. The dirt and paper are trampled into the ground. A dog dug a hole in one of the mounds - luckily not the largest mound which holds the only paper tree I think of as Bill...This large tree was also the only tree to crumple and fall at the Fringe show at the Media Bureau.

Bill was like a large oak tree – appearing so invincible until it falls in a passing storm and reveals the weakness at its core. Bill worked so hard to try and stay here with us, denying over and over that the disease had any power over him – until in the end it couldn't be denied any longer.

The day after we installed GROVE in Carpenter's Woods, all the trees collapsed. That same night my husband collapsed from a reaction to chemotherapy and died two weeks later. I dedicated GROVE to Bill the day we put the paper trees in the ground. Two weeks later, on the day after he died I found the trees to be transformed into gentle hills of dirt and paper covered by leaves and snow.

What a beautiful day we had to install GROVE. Today is full of medical appointments for Bill so I appreciate your patience while I process the hundreds of photos and video from three weeks of transformative work together. What I can tell you is that I think we all learned something about shape, weight, paper and dirt. The next trees will be shorter and bigger. I hope to make five of these new shapes to replace the current GROVE in anticipation of the five oak trees in the spring. More later on that.

For now, I thank you all who came out over the last month and shared in GROVE. I feel like I have invited you into my studio and now we are all learning and creating together. There never is an ending for an artist because every project reveals the next. I invite you all to continue with me as we respond to this - the first draft of GROVE as it moves toward its new life as an oak grove. Love, Treemaker9

Let's hope not...Yesterday the dirt for GROVE arrived at the bus stop. Those of us who have seen it were surprised at how perfect it looks. Who knew I would fall in love with two dirt piles? Photos later...

My apologies for the gap between postings. My husband Bill's disease has now spread to his brain and spinal column and we have had a three week ordeal in the hospital which has just ended with his return home. Our world has turned upside down and even if you are expecting terrible things, they are still terrible when they happen.

GROVE is happening still because of the kindness of our friends, many health professionals and my mother who has come to stay with us. On Saturday we will move the dirt from the bus stop down to the GROVE with buckets, spades, wheelbarrows, and tarps. On the 11th we will bring the trees and the process of letting go will begin.

This morning I walked to the future site of GROVE. As I rounded the corner, the morning light was pouring into the canopy hole where GROVE will reside. I have spent the last two days tied to the computer arranging permits and work days for installing the paper trees in the park. I am filling out tree forms and applying for grants but can't wait for this stage to be over so I can go into the site and begin clearing it. I have ordered a powerful propane cooker and 60 quart pot so I can begin to process the knotweed as we remove it from the site. There is some spring knotweed rotting in the garage, too, so as soon as the cooker comes I will begin to boil it all up and begin to make paper.

Strangely, I wasn't sad at all when Part 1 at the Media Bureau came down. Three weeks was plenty long enough to be there. However, since the Fringe came at such a busy time of year, I will be putting up a version of it in my studio for POST. It won't be the same, but that is fitting somehow. Not only does everything change in an instant, but nothing ever stays the same, either.

Last Monday I defended my professional deductions in the IRS audit and won a no-change decision. I must really be an artist now if even the IRS thinks so!

Last Saturday was evilly hot. A sweltering day to go in town and stand in a hot room running four projectors. And yet my friends, relatives, and supporters came out to the opening and stayed in large numbers. Thank you all so much. I have very good and loyal friends. On the other hand, I myself did not handle the heat well. By the end of the evening I felt like a limp dishrag that had been put through one of those old washing machine wringers so many times that all that was left of me was shreds. Luckily, this week is cooler.

One of the challenges of working with technology is that you have to have a plan. The entire GROVE Part 1 runs the video to four DLP projectors through a signal splitter connected to my Mac Book Pro. The Media Bureau's events tend to run late and long and I was nervous about leaving my laptop running all night given that it had to last for three weeks. We tried another laptop which ran the video for about 12 hours before giving up the ghost. I had an old laptop but it would not even accept Quicktime 7. With four days left I finally had an idea. I took a camera out into Carpenter's Woods in the morning and created what I have come to think of as GROVE Lite. GROVE Lite is a simple slide show of green light and shadow in the very woods where the trees will eventually be planted and left to decay. My friends Madeleine (aged 3) and Katerina came and enjoyed GROVE and GROVE Lite yesterday. Madeleine preferred the GROVE Lite but for Katerina, the "real" GROVE had more resonance. The whole experience reassured me that even as Part 1 ends, Part 2 will demand my presence daily in the woods I love.

GROVE exists! Six photos of the installation at the Media Bureau have been added to the slideshow. My first visitors disappeared behind the curtain, stayed for forty minutes and wrote: "very, very, cool!"

I want to be very clear though that the only reason that GROVE exists is due to the amazing help of all kinds that I have received. Bill (my husband) and Maryann (my mother) have funded this entire enterprise. Bill still supports the arts despite the fact that this project has caused us to hemorrhage money for 18 months. Bill also sat here for the whole day on Labor Day sorting out tiny receipts for the audit on September 17 that we are facing for the sole reason that I make no money despite having expenses, while I wrote e-mails to the press in the hopes of attracting some press for the show. Maryann paid for publicity, sent checks at low moments, and coughed up for a last minute projector on Friday when we found out at 8 pm Thursday that we couldn't get the one we had been counting on. Simon Rogers created an amazing soundwork for the single reason that I used to teach in his school. Ben Barnett (in addition to offering me my first opportunity to show in Philadelphia in 2004,) came through with the amazing space at the Media Bureau when an earlier venue fell through. Debra Hoffman should receive a medal of honor for wrapping and moving the trees with me despite my almost crippling anxiety, especially on moving day. Andrea Kirsh has written about my work and has provided me with advice and support, including writing a letter to the IRS on my behalf that moved me to the point of tears. (Let's hope the IRS auditor is similarly moved!) Nancy Goldenberg of the Friends of Carpenter Woods and Mark Focht, director of Fairmount Park have enthusiastically approved Part 2 of GROVE, when the paper trees move out into the woods, despite the risky nature of public art. Erica Brendel, one of our resident expert birders helped me choose the site and has been overwhelmingly supportive of the project. Maura McCarthy and Denise Larrabee of the Friends of the Wissahickon have offered both enthusiasm and support. Many, many other friends and relative strangers have helped, although I still await my wealthy philanthropist...Thank you all, treemaker9

Lately I have been thinking more about the concept of invasives. On one level this work is concretely about clearing an area of Carpenter's Woods from the invasive pants of Japanese Knotweed and English Ivy. The paper trees will stand and disintegrate in the cleared area and, in the spring, we will try to return the balance of that area to native plants, especially oak trees.

After accompanying my husband home from a medical appointment yesterday, I made the leap of understanding cancer as an invasive on the cellular level. Some invasives you can learn to live with. Others not so much. Despite excellent care my husband's "invasive" may be gaining ground, much to our dismay. However, in our small neighborhood park, GROVE will attempt to see if we can find a way to keep up with the invasive plants by replacing them with native species and tending them carefully. In our park we are learning what plants we can live with and what plants we need to replace. In the weeks and months to come we will continue to try and discourage the growth of my husband's invasive as well. Unfortunately as all gardeners know, some plants can be discouraged from returning and others are impossible to beat back.

I am still in the studio making trees. It has been so hot that the wet trees are baking in between studio sessions and each tree is a struggle. When the trees dry on hot humid days they dry floppy and need a stiffening layer of pulp laid on by hand. This extra layer is time consuming and backbreaking. 95 degree days in the studio leave me exhausted and confused. After work and in need of solace I have been drawn to the peace and quiet of the future site of GROVE in Carpenter's Woods. Even when it is buggy and humid, visiting the site renews my faith in the project. This morning it was cool and dry and I took my video camera to the site to make this week's movie.

Four weeks out from a show means there is lots to do. On Friday I visited the Media Bureau with Simon Rogers, a very talented and kind young person who is generously helping me with the sound. We have decided to focus in on eight minutes in order to project uncompressed video for its clarity and beauty. His ideas for an accompanying sound piece are brilliant. I am honored to have his help. On our way downtown I tried, using my reasonably good imitation of an insane and driven artist, to explain GROVE to him with all its layers and complexities, history and philosophy. On our way home he turned to me and using one simple word explained Part 1 back to me. "It's about change", he said.

So, beginning with change, here is a partial list of single words that describe GROVE: paper, trees, light, sound, change, perception, consciousness, loss, attachment, grief, decay, disintegration, death, invasive plants, forest, recycling, oaks, birds, community, planting, tending, harvesting, and papermaking.